Reasons

You like/liked me for the wrong reasons,
You don't freaking appreciate me,
Stop bragging to your friends;
when I am hardly in your grips,
You don't even show like you care about me,
The lil things I asked you to do,
You came up with reasons not to do it.

Its amazing how your friends kept telling me
how nice you are and am very lucky to have you fallen for me,
when I find you the end of the spectrum!

Yes, Psychology taught me not to make a decision when you're emotional/angry/whatsoever.
screw it.
Bet I will laughed at this one day. =)

Worried

Trials gonna start on TUESDAY!
and I am sleeping more than 10hours like a baby =.=
Just found out coffee is like weed. Not like I tried weed before, but
the feeling is sooo stoned.
Imagine having a Venti Vanilla Latte at night
and then another round of Black Coffee in the morning and head off to college.
Your brain is very much stoned!!!!
Shouldn't have went to college last Friday,
practically wasted my time listening to Lectures that I don't need it.
and slept a whole deal after college! =)
Had an awesome possum lunch with Mr.G at Jaya One.
At first, it was Royal Selangor Club then that fella dress up so casual,
thus planned cancelled.
And surprisingly, I didn't have any craving and man,they just can't decide what to eat.
The girls have to do the all the decision making -.-

Anywho, been having terrible headaches for 3 consecutive days!
Panadols didn't help either =(
Thinking of going for a MRI scan.
and ding dong, Mr.G said this " why do you even need it? If you go for it, for sure they will say,there's no brain to scan"
Omgee, ultimate lameness.YET I still laughed at it -.-

On another random,
what happens when the line between best friends get blurred?
Will the friendship gets weird out?
hmm.....I beg to differ.

Swiss chocolates!!!<3

p/s: my lil sis flicked four of it before I can even take my camera -.-

Another random note- I kinda thankful for the family members I have =)

They never fail to surprise me. 

After much sleep deprivation and the whole trials, uni worrisome 

coming home and seeing my fridge filled with chocolates again =D

Thank You Aunt K and Uncle D. 

<3 <3 <3

I like the fact, the view outside of my room never fail to surprise me =)

If you look closely, MV on the far right.

Sky is The Limit

Morning,world!!!
It's amazing how I can be awake at 8.36am on a Public Holiday.
If I have a choice, I would sleep
as I think I fell asleep in front of my laptop again.
no surprise there.

Anywho,
I can finally drive...alone.
Just came back from a morning joy ride.
love it when the road is empty and I can park nicely at ample empty parking lots.

Went to my workplace. abit emotional saying bye to everyone.
been an awesome experience to work with Kumon.
heh, it's ironic, I know.
I realised working with kids can be the most fun job ever.
Minus the rascal bunch,and short attention span and attention seeker bunch.
and it's proven teaching girls are easier than boys.
and no, I would never ever consider paediatrician.
It kinda tells me how the real working life is.
There are bound to be some seniors bullying you,which eventually become your friends.
There are bound to be office relationships, not that I am interested but
a lil attention wouldn't hurt.

I had met people from HELP, SeGi, APIIT and people waiting to enrol into overseas uni.
been exciting working with them.
I am missing the kids and my colleague already.
felt so guilty that I skipped work today to attend my mentor's small lil gathering at her house.
should have work today man, cause I'm supposed to just usher parents and kids.
haha. It's some Kumon HIgh Achiever Ceremony today.
and I don't know how to say no to my boss,
seriously.

She still wants me back>.<
and I don't know how to say no
I wanna travel after graduation.>.<"
but I told her, "okay, I will come back and work."
what the heck,right????

And she told me the pay in Kumon,UK is 6pounds/hour.
woah,after conversion sounds like a sweet deal but then of course, cost of living there is high!
deng it, why did I reject my offer?oh well, doubt I can make the requirement.

still considering NUS. yeah, slightly too ambitious.
but something really attracted me there.
problem now is I have to do SAT II and get my AAA for Alevels.
sigh.

deep down, I think I am still indecisive about my future.
Is that why I always take random trips out of Malaysia?
my two best friends think I take more trips out than anyone else who's in college.
oh boy,they can be so wrong. Taking overseas trip in my college is such a norm.
For example, my classmate is in Singapore now.
Probably attending her NTU interview. Hoping the best for her.
My college mates just came back from Japan and Hong Kong.
owh, Japan Liquor candy is orgasmic. 
hmmm, am I suffering from Fugue??? *gasp*
cause one of the symptoms is, unplanned travel away from home.
hahaha. Psychology is taking a toll on me.
He's giving us TEST every deng week.


I wanna go Bangkok for my 19th birthday =p
now thinking how do I do that. so tempted to book a flight and go.
but its such a dangerous place,doubt my parents will allow.
Anyone up for it?
Since, it's so near to finals.
or I can settle for a trip to an island. Langkawi or Pangkor Laut Resort
buzz off, if you think I am spoilt. 


It's so hard to stop myself from shopping.
Was at OU after college yesterday.
ohmygosh, I wanted this white satin skirt from Forever 21 and it was so cheap-RM55. OMGee!
and leather boots from Aldo which was only rm389. [ I know Malaysia weather doesn't permit,but my college does =) ]
and lingerie from La Senza. which was shooo cute.
It's not helping that I am heading to Pavilion later.
This whole abstinence is hard but I am trying..
30days more to go.more or less.

Psycho notes remain static for the past hour.

The mind is filled with so much thoughts.

The amount of distractions or is it merely short attention span?

My heart is heavy on certain issues,

I always said I am fine, when deep down I am just confused.

Am I ready to let go and start a new?

back to square one and turn a new leaf. 

Take the risk all over again, and probably get disappointed in the end?

sometimes I can be my own worst critic ever.

or am I just afraid of committing?

Are those just reasons for me not to face the fact?

Ah, decisions. 

Deep down I really don't wanna start uni in JULY!!!

I tried to please both my parents but its  annoying.

I won't enjoy my time there.

don't even like the course structure itself.

I'm starting to doubt myself,

is this course really for me?

should I just go with the norm? 

why must my course be so difficult to find a uni?

and when I do find the uni I like, why must it not be available to International students????

I feel so far away from God,

my heart is screaming for Him,

longing for Him,

yearning for Him,

I need Him to pull me back up again;

I need to start having faith in Him again,

I do admit I do doubt Him at times.