Psycho notes remain static for the past hour.

The mind is filled with so much thoughts.

The amount of distractions or is it merely short attention span?

My heart is heavy on certain issues,

I always said I am fine, when deep down I am just confused.

Am I ready to let go and start a new?

back to square one and turn a new leaf. 

Take the risk all over again, and probably get disappointed in the end?

sometimes I can be my own worst critic ever.

or am I just afraid of committing?

Are those just reasons for me not to face the fact?

Ah, decisions. 

Deep down I really don't wanna start uni in JULY!!!

I tried to please both my parents but its  annoying.

I won't enjoy my time there.

don't even like the course structure itself.

I'm starting to doubt myself,

is this course really for me?

should I just go with the norm? 

why must my course be so difficult to find a uni?

and when I do find the uni I like, why must it not be available to International students????

I feel so far away from God,

my heart is screaming for Him,

longing for Him,

yearning for Him,

I need Him to pull me back up again;

I need to start having faith in Him again,

I do admit I do doubt Him at times.